Keep Your Kids Safe
Would your child know what to do if approached by someone luring them online?
A Calgary 11-year-old is being hailed as courageous for letting his parents and law enforcement know about a U.S. Child Predator:
‘Brave’ Calgary boy saved others from U.S. child predator, police say
In the above-mentioned article, Detective Ray Kelly of the Calgary Police service recommends the following:
“The real key for parents here is to have open communication with their kids, to ensure they know what platforms their kids are on and who they’re speaking with online.”
This message is nothing new, and it is worth revisiting and clarifying for your family.
The age of owning a cell phone continues to move lower and lower. This means that children in elementary school are on the internet, often with little supervision.
In our conversations with parents, we know that parents of older teens are concerned about interfering with their child’s privacy, and finding that balance is one of the hardest parts of parenting teenagers.
However, online parenting is similar to offline parenting in that there is a gradient from no privacy to full privacy as the child ages. Young children need our help in learning how to be safe online.
Regular, open communication about your family’s technology expectations is critical. If your family has never sat down and agreed on those rules together, planning a phone-free family day is an easy place to start. Being online with kids is also important.
Kids need to know that you are watching what they are doing and that you’ll call them on it if it doesn’t fit your family’s guidelines.
Does your child know all of the people in their “friend” list?
Of course he does…he’s been communicating with these people for weeks or months.
BUT HOW does he know them? Who introduced them?
There are plenty of wonderful people out there on the internet. There are also some people who really aren’t safe for your kids and children may not be able to tell the difference or may not want to tell mom and dad even if they do feel yucky about someone.
Setting expectations and holding children accountable are important parts of parenting. The truth is that while your child may be showing you what she is doing online, she may not tell you about every interaction.
Even if you are checking her devices regularly, she may have secret accounts or conversations may have disappeared by the time you get there. Learning to set those expectations and keep the conversation open is a skill like any other, and our online parent education course covers communication, child development, and recognizing stress signals in kids.
Because of this, we need to be talking to kids very early on about
What would you do if…
What would you do if… someone wanted you to meet a friend online but you didn’t like this friend?
What would you do if a friend online showed you or talked to you about things that made you feel uncomfortable?
What would you do if someone tried to scare you into doing something by threatening to tell your parents you were doing something bad?
Detective Kelly reminds:
“A true friend, someone who really values you, is never going to send you something that is questionable or ask you to do anything like that either. Once that takes place, don’t just ignore, don’t just cancel that friendship, let law enforcement know like this young man did.”
If it feels like your child is too young to be talking about things like this, then it is important that your child is never unsupervised on the internet. Younger kids ask hard questions constantly, and getting comfortable enough to answer questions you are not prepared for makes these safety conversations far easier when they come up.
If you wouldn’t let your child run around with strange adults in real life, please don’t let them do that online.
Ask yourself these questions:
Do I know what my kids are doing online?
Am I talking about ‘What would you do if’ with my kids?
Have I made it clear to my child that he can tell me anything if he is feeling scared, or uncomfortable?
Am I the kind of adult who holds it together when things get tricky or would my child protect me from uncomfortable stuff rather than tell me about it?
Make sure that your child knows what to do if something goes wrong, or if things feel uncomfortable. When a child feels that there is safety in telling and that the family will handle things as a team, there is a great chance of open and honest communication.
Use this story and this email as a jumping-off point for a conversation this weekend.
